i write

My father is selfish I can say. And as far as I know, he only wants us to give him money and nothing else...He wanted that and these and if I don't give him that, he must be very angry with me. And that's the time he will start and try to say words that are very hurting inside to listen to, words that may devastate you, make you down and make you realize how small you are as you live with him and your family. That is how I'm going to describe my papa today. His anger to me has no place to keep. And it really finds me so pathetic and down every time I heard those words that he always say to me. I know I can't please him no matter what, but my mind is saying me to do things that would make him realized that am worth it as his son. I did my best, I did my part just for him to be proud of me somehow. But still nothing and I think that;s not gonna work out. And so this time, what he told me recently was just to go and stay away from the house for the reason that I'...

It is very refreshing and at the same time, got to handle things I never experienced yet...hooohhh, "Pathetic.." - maybe that is how I would going to describe my life today. Is it a consequence? And I really guess so...hahah But God indeed never gave consequences, as far as I know, He only wants me to learn ONE THING...-FAITH... That's the word, the only word that would make me fly, have life, have a very happy life and good future...Faith...It must be totally 100% full and plenty... How I wish to give my 100%..yes, I've done it, but in the long run, I know there were times I didn't do such, why? Well, practically, I'm still a human being....:( Now I am here, alone and feeling so lonely. Longing for someones shoulder to cry on...A father, he's not around and he's not on my side... I've gone away from our home... I admit it, I've done a lot of things to my father. And that's including negative and bad things. The last time I remem...