Heartaches... Pt. 2
My father is selfish I can say. And as far as I know, he only wants us to give him money and nothing else...He wanted that and these and if I don't give him that, he must be very angry with me. And that's the time he will start and try to say words that are very hurting inside to listen to, words that may devastate you, make you down and make you realize how small you are as you live with him and your family.
That is how I'm going to describe my papa today. His anger to me has no place to keep. And it really finds me so pathetic and down every time I heard those words that he always say to me.
I know I can't please him no matter what, but my mind is saying me to do things that would make him realized that am worth it as his son. I did my best, I did my part just for him to be proud of me somehow. But still nothing and I think that;s not gonna work out.
And so this time, what he told me recently was just to go and stay away from the house for the reason that I'm worthless and useless.
I gone away as you read. And as I go far from that house, my tears started to fall without doing and wanting it to fall. I know it's for good and that tears have fallen were the tears of sadness and realizations of all the things I've done for my family and for parents specially to my father.
If you want me to share to know more of him, I can't say it all actually. Nevertheless, I was a rebel to him. As I did what he told me, I promised to myself that I would never come back again in that place until he is willing, still interesting and he will finally ready to accept me fully from his heart.
It's been awhile, since I started to have work and he started to demand money from me with these and that price..hahah, But however, I still thank my God for giving me this such a very challenging father of mine. I go far, and I know God understands. I told Him since it started to happen, that every now and then, I may surrender and fail to do this challenge. And it really did.
BAHALA NA SI LORD!! I give Him ALL my BURDENS for me to start a new life indeed. To live without them and without their supports, morally or financially. I can live with my own feet and hands. To be dependent was another challenge to face, I don't care if I didn't expected this to happen, as long as I have my God, I know I can do this.
Funny how life brought me into these situations. No wonder, this is life.
That is how I'm going to describe my papa today. His anger to me has no place to keep. And it really finds me so pathetic and down every time I heard those words that he always say to me.
I know I can't please him no matter what, but my mind is saying me to do things that would make him realized that am worth it as his son. I did my best, I did my part just for him to be proud of me somehow. But still nothing and I think that;s not gonna work out.
And so this time, what he told me recently was just to go and stay away from the house for the reason that I'm worthless and useless.
I gone away as you read. And as I go far from that house, my tears started to fall without doing and wanting it to fall. I know it's for good and that tears have fallen were the tears of sadness and realizations of all the things I've done for my family and for parents specially to my father.
If you want me to share to know more of him, I can't say it all actually. Nevertheless, I was a rebel to him. As I did what he told me, I promised to myself that I would never come back again in that place until he is willing, still interesting and he will finally ready to accept me fully from his heart.
It's been awhile, since I started to have work and he started to demand money from me with these and that price..hahah, But however, I still thank my God for giving me this such a very challenging father of mine. I go far, and I know God understands. I told Him since it started to happen, that every now and then, I may surrender and fail to do this challenge. And it really did.
BAHALA NA SI LORD!! I give Him ALL my BURDENS for me to start a new life indeed. To live without them and without their supports, morally or financially. I can live with my own feet and hands. To be dependent was another challenge to face, I don't care if I didn't expected this to happen, as long as I have my God, I know I can do this.
Funny how life brought me into these situations. No wonder, this is life.
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