Rather than Being Idealistic and Pretends to be Innocent, Be a Realistic.

Innocent, naive, unthinking careless and moose. Maybe I was like this before.

Suddenly, when I grew up, I was like a great defender, debater and even I would say an innocent philosopher.

It was about many years, I've bee in so many experiences in life. And those things, it made me realized things which I considered before non sense.


Poverty, rural and mountains. - I've been there. Specially the life of being far in Cities.


How I wish I could go back. I mean those things.
In just a very million second in my life, I was like just a little kid before, innocent and living in a world of no people, in island that even animals were not around. Yet, today, I am missing. Hoping that someday, I could turn back those moments. Know why? I just realized that I've messed such a lot.

Behind those laughters, enjoyment and happiness moments in me, I can't deny the fact that every little thing I did, 5 out of ten were mistakes and sins. And it really hurtin me when there are times my mind went out those moments.


Foolishness and messes. Many to mention. However, it finds me very challenging today as I think, if how could i ever changed my life and live like a little child that just don't know the real definition of the word SIN.


Am a positive defender. When I hear some people throw words behind my back regarding on my personality and appearance, I just ask them if they know me!


I can be a debater. Even if I know that I am fighting for wrong perspectives, as long as it was given me, I would go for this and that.


Philosopher and argumentative person. I have given this mind of such a deep thoughts and ideas. I will protect my rights and the rights of people. As long as I know I am fighting for good, I'd go for and fight for it.


I know how to accept the results and the consequences in which the things I did before, I deserve one.


However, the most significant was like about my negative perceptions. It leads me into foolishness and sins. It destroys me and my personality. It shows me the real me or the other side of me. Curious and always asks for answers when I question them why.


And there was a time, just lose my identity.

That's why I missed that Kid before. I finds me free.

I still have time to change my life today. Considering that I am still living, I was given a chance.
Considering I saw those people who were perishing just because they did those foolishness, I have these chance to avoid it. Considering that I still live, I was given a chance to follow Christ Jesus.

And even though I'm not feeling free, God will.
And even though I still can do sins. God forgives.


I always came into this realization: Love yourself as what you have loved your God. How can God loved you if you yourself don't know how to loved even to yourself??